I can't believe that I am leaving in less than a week for Russia! Last fall, when I signed up, it seemed like this trip was SOOOO far away.
I still remember sitting in church listening to someone talking about their trip to Russia with e3 Partners. They were saying that e3 Partners is about church planting and evangelism, neither of which I feel "called” to. So as I was listening to the person share, I was saying to myself (at least I thought I was saying it to myself but quickly realized I was saying it to God), "That is not me! I can't do that!" And God was saying, "I want you to go. I know it's not you! I want to use you even though you don't think you can be used!" So after what seemed like a forever argument back and forth between me and God (it was only a few hours) I decided that I wanted to go!
I feel like God has really stretched me and worked on me in lots of ways this past year in preparing me for this trip.
He's gotten me ask for help, which I don't like to do. When I found out the cost of the trip I was shocked...$3700.00. There was no way I would be able to afford that and no way I'd be able to fundraise that much! Little did I know (or believe) that if God wants me to do something or go somewhere, no amount of money needed is too much for Him.
He's working with me on not procrastinating. This is something that is still pretty rocky, but He's not finished with me yet! God used my husband Dave to nudge me along to send out support letters and make follow up phone calls to share with people about my trip and to ask for support. Most days Dave's nudges felt like annoying shoves in the back! But that's because I kept putting off the letters and phone calls because I didn't want to ask for help. (Crazy how what we think are different areas are all connected!)
I feel like a lot has been changing and happening in my family’s life this past year and unfortunately I feel like I haven't been able to give my all when it comes to thinking about and preparing for this trip. But God is reminding me, even now, that even though my life has been crazy and I feel like I am going in a dozen different directions, He is constant and stable and here for me. He has been working on me this past year, even though I didn't realize it!
The last thing I think He is teaching me is that He can use me just the way I am. I don't have to be like anyone else, I just have to be me! He gifted me with my abilities and personalities and wants to use them in His time and in His way. I just need to be open and willing to go and do what He asks me to do.
So I am excited to see how God uses me in Russia in less than a week! Thank you everyone for your prayers and for your support.