excuses

So it's been awhile since I've posted. What are my reasonings?
#1 I've been busy
#2 I don't think anything of interest to post about has happened
#3 I've been busy
#4 I don't want to... I just wanna sit and veg
What a bunch of pitiful excuses! And I've used these excuses for everything lately... -washing dishes -laundry -calling/e-mailing friends -quiet time with the Lord -praying
But I'm tired of excuses. I'm tired of being lazy and undisciplined. I'm tired of being a boring lazy stale Christ Follower!
We had Missions Conference this weekend and I just feel... I'm actually not sure what I really feel. I have so many mixed emotions and "not sure of emotions" right now that I'm not sure what to think or feel. I feel that God is working in my heart right now in ways I'm not sure of. I look back now and see that over the past few weeks and months I have been and still am in God's refining fire. Life has been rough, some challenges with my kids and husband and myself. I now can see and know that I am still in the process of being refined/plied. It's hard and many days, nights, and moments I cry and whine and want to quit. But I now am sort of joyful because I know that God is working in me and on me and when this stage of refinement and pliability is over, I am going to praise Him and know that I am closer to being made perfect by Him! The Lord just brought to my mind right now James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. THANK YOU LORD FOR NOT GIVING UP ON ME BUT CONTINUING TO SHAPE ME INTO THE WOMAN THAT YOU HAVE CREATED ME TO BE!
I'm really excited and scared to see what God is doing in my heart after this Missions Conference! I have all sorts of ideas and thoughts and feelings swarming and floating around in my head. I can't wait to see what He'll do with them!! I'll keep you posted! :)