God planned

I had the night all to myself. I hung out with my sister for a little while and then debated what to do next. I could go home and fold laundry or wash dishes (which I didn't really want to do) or I could go to the store and return some un-needed school supplies (which I didn't really want to do even more). I wanted to go home and veg but I decided to go and return what needed to be returned. As I was walking towards the store I saw a child who looked a lot like the child of some of our friends. But no it can't be, they moved pretty far away. Then I saw the child's mom. NO WAY!! They're back!?!? I waved and went over to talk to them. I found out why they are back and told them some updates about us. I also told them that we have some friends who live near them and would love to get them connected so they can know a familiar face or two. We say our good byes and I return my school supplies.
As I aimlessly wandered the store I thought about how awesome and big our God is. Had I not gone to the store like I wanted, I never would have seen my friends. Yes, God could have connected us at another time. But I think God planned that we were at the same store at the same time and were able to meet and talk and hopefully connect them with our other friends. God you are amazing!

Growing Up

My high school youth leader and his wife and kids moved to a different state to serve in a different ministry about maybe 9 or 10 years ago. I didn't keep in touch with them at all. They moved and I graduated and just lost touch. I would get updates once and awhile from his sister whom I got to know pretty well after high school. Then a few years later she got married and moved away and I lost touch with her. (Man, what kind of friend am I?) But I just recently found her online, even though we haven't talked much. All that history to say that their mother passed away and went home to be with her Lord a few days ago. I went to the viewing today and so many feelings and emotions came over me as I was standing in line for over an hour. (many people came to give their condolences and show their love. She was a wonderful lady and she touched so many lives.)
*How fast time goes. My youth leader's daughter was 4 or 5 maybe when they left and saw her today and I can't believe how grown up she is.
* I saw friends from high school and many memories came back.
* I thought about other friends from high school and how much I miss them.
* I thought about my grandma who is very sick and what my mom and her sisters are going
through physically and emotionally.
* I kept thinking that I am getting older. I am now a parent and my parents are the
grandparents and pretty soon my sisters and I are going to be the ones who have to take care
of and make decisions for elderly parents. Not too soon, but sooner than later. Every day I am
being reminded that I am a "Grown Up" Most days I don't like to think about it. I still want to
be a kid I think. I want my parents to make all the hard decisions and choices. I don't want to
be the responsible on, caring for kids and a husband and a house. It's scary. I'm almost 30,
I've been married for almost 10 years, and have been a mother for almost 8 years, but I still
feel like a kid. But I'm not...I'm a "Grown Up!!" When will it sink in? When will I feel like this
is real?
So when I finally got to my youth leader and his sister all I could do was cry. I don't know why. I guess I realized that in fact I am growing up. I realized how terribly I miss them. I don't think in high school I really knew how much of an impact he had on my life. I thought, how sad that it takes a funeral to connect with old friends. But God knew that this was how we were going to connect. So now it's a matter of staying connected!

excuses

So it's been awhile since I've posted. What are my reasonings?
#1 I've been busy
#2 I don't think anything of interest to post about has happened
#3 I've been busy
#4 I don't want to... I just wanna sit and veg
What a bunch of pitiful excuses! And I've used these excuses for everything lately... -washing dishes -laundry -calling/e-mailing friends -quiet time with the Lord -praying
But I'm tired of excuses. I'm tired of being lazy and undisciplined. I'm tired of being a boring lazy stale Christ Follower!
We had Missions Conference this weekend and I just feel... I'm actually not sure what I really feel. I have so many mixed emotions and "not sure of emotions" right now that I'm not sure what to think or feel. I feel that God is working in my heart right now in ways I'm not sure of. I look back now and see that over the past few weeks and months I have been and still am in God's refining fire. Life has been rough, some challenges with my kids and husband and myself. I now can see and know that I am still in the process of being refined/plied. It's hard and many days, nights, and moments I cry and whine and want to quit. But I now am sort of joyful because I know that God is working in me and on me and when this stage of refinement and pliability is over, I am going to praise Him and know that I am closer to being made perfect by Him! The Lord just brought to my mind right now James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. THANK YOU LORD FOR NOT GIVING UP ON ME BUT CONTINUING TO SHAPE ME INTO THE WOMAN THAT YOU HAVE CREATED ME TO BE!
I'm really excited and scared to see what God is doing in my heart after this Missions Conference! I have all sorts of ideas and thoughts and feelings swarming and floating around in my head. I can't wait to see what He'll do with them!! I'll keep you posted! :)

Mean Girls Update

Ok so here's the latest... Annika's teacher talked to the whole class that day about how clubs and passwords and things like that hurt other kids feelings and make them feel left out. She then had the class role play a similar situation. When I talked to Annika later that day I asked her about recess and she told me that they can't use passwords and that she played with E and E and S at recess. Good :)!
When I put Annika to bed that night I talked with her a bit and told her that God created her special and that He loves her so very much. I told her that when it seems that no one likes her that God will always love her. I said "Did you know that even before you were born God knew all about you and loved you very much! How amazing!" She responded, "Why couldn't you tell me this yesterday when I was having a hard day?" I said, "I'm sorry but I am telling you now." "Well, can you tell me all that again when I'm having another hard day?" she asked. "Of course I will" I said.
How sweet! I love talking with my kids when they are snuggled up in bed. It seems like I have all their attention and it's just a great bonding time. They hate when it has to end and I get up to leave. I sometimes wish I could stay there all night and talk with them, watch them fall asleep and eventually fall asleep with them. But I have to get up and think (key word think) about getting things done around the house. Oh well, part of being a wife and a mom :)

Mean Girls!

At dinner last night we were talking about our days. Paul asked Annika a question and she all of a sudden started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she proceeded to tell us this story...
"E double promised me that she would play with me at recess. But E and E and S were playing and S said I could only play with them if I knew the pass word." I asked if E or E could tell her the pass word but Annika said no one could tell her, she had to guess. My heart sank when I heard this coming out of my 5 year olds mouth. I know that girls can be mean and clicks are unfortunately common among girls. But already at 5 and 6 years old? Annika said that this has never happened before with these kids but my heart just broke for her.
I vaguely remember elementary school. I do remember clicks all throughout middle school and high school. I remember that I was pretty good friends with some girls in elementary school but when we got to middle school they were popular and I wasn't, so we were no longer friends. And I remember girls not being nice and all the drama.
I tried to reassure her that she's a great girl and all that but a big part of me wanted to fix it. Paul was willing to fix it. He said he was going to talk to them the next day and tell them they have to let Annika play or...I don't remember or what... Make them or tell on them or something. (Nothing like big brother to the rescue!!) She was fine the rest of the night until she got into bed and then she relived it in her mind and started crying all over again. Poor thing!
This morning after we dropped the kids off at school I talked to Annika's teacher (even though my husband didn't think I should) and just told her briefly what happened. She said she would address the issue to the class and not make it sound like Annika's mom tattled.
I know that this is reality for Annika and that it's unfortunately going to happen many more times in her life, I just want S and other kids (and even Annika) to know that things like that hurt other people's feelings. I want to teach our kids that God wants us to build each other up not tear each other down. And I want them to know that God made them special and unique and that even when it seems that no one likes them, God does.

"I hate electricity!!!"

Our power went out between midnight and 12:30 this morning. My husband was watching TV and the room went black. So he went to sleep thinking that the power would come back on soon. I woke up at 5:45 to a still powerless house. My son woke up to an unusually completely dark room. He was not happy so I went to his room and tried to explain to him that the electricity went out and all that entailed. I ended up not having to go to work this morning (not because our power went out) and the kids had a start time delay for school, so we spent the morning in a powerless house. It was kind of fun thought... we made hand shadows on the wall with a flashlight and played a board game by flashlight in the living room. My husband and I said that if the electricity was still off by super time that we would probably have to go out to eat.
Well lucky for us...or not so lucky... the electricity came back on later this afternoon. When the kids came home from school Annika was excited that the lights were back on, but her brother was far from happy. I called my husband at home (I was at work) to tell him something and he said "here talk to Paul." Paul gets on the phone and I can't understand him at first because he's crying so much. He settles down enough for me to be able to make out him saying" I hate electricity!" I ask why and he said, "I hate electricity because now we can't go out to eat!!!" OH MY... is my cooking that bad!? Is staying home that bad!? He makes it seem like we NEVER go out to eat! I think we go out too much. Poor kid...we didn't go out to eat. He was fine when I got home from work. And he ate just fine at home! :)
Kids...they have it so rough!!!!! :) Or so they think...

Thankful

My 5 year old daughter Annika had a program a few day ago at school and her and her class sang a song that said "We have so much so much so much so much to be thankful for... we have our friends to be thankful for... we have our family to be thankful for... we have our school to be thankful for... . It was a cute song and a cute program. This is her in her turkey hat!
This morning on our way to my in laws house Annika asked, "Can I sing a song you don't know that I made up?" I said sure. She said it was about God and Thanksgiving or being thankful or something. She sang "We have our God," then she asked, "Can God here me sing?" and I said yes. Then she went on singing, "We have our God to be thankful for." She said, "I bet God is smiling." And I said "I bet He is smiling!" She continued to sing her made up song about being thankful for God and some of His attributes and it just made my heart happy! So many times I wonder about my children and their salvation. Especially when they are not obeying, whining, fighting with each other, etc. But moments like this I want to cherish.
Tonight while putting the kids to bed (We have 2) Paul, my 7 year old son, wanted to pray after I had finished praying. I was excited because he doesn't pray out loud very often. So he prayed something like this, "Dear God, I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone up there. In Jesus name, Amen." Then Annika wanted to "sing a pray" and it was again about God and being thankful. How precious! Moments like these help me to see that what we are teaching them is sinking in. And it's up to them how they will apply what they learn.
So I am thankful for my God and that He chose me... to be His daughter, to be the wife to the husband He gave me, and to be the mother of the 2 precious children He gave me.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!