Growing Up

My high school youth leader and his wife and kids moved to a different state to serve in a different ministry about maybe 9 or 10 years ago. I didn't keep in touch with them at all. They moved and I graduated and just lost touch. I would get updates once and awhile from his sister whom I got to know pretty well after high school. Then a few years later she got married and moved away and I lost touch with her. (Man, what kind of friend am I?) But I just recently found her online, even though we haven't talked much. All that history to say that their mother passed away and went home to be with her Lord a few days ago. I went to the viewing today and so many feelings and emotions came over me as I was standing in line for over an hour. (many people came to give their condolences and show their love. She was a wonderful lady and she touched so many lives.)
*How fast time goes. My youth leader's daughter was 4 or 5 maybe when they left and saw her today and I can't believe how grown up she is.
* I saw friends from high school and many memories came back.
* I thought about other friends from high school and how much I miss them.
* I thought about my grandma who is very sick and what my mom and her sisters are going
through physically and emotionally.
* I kept thinking that I am getting older. I am now a parent and my parents are the
grandparents and pretty soon my sisters and I are going to be the ones who have to take care
of and make decisions for elderly parents. Not too soon, but sooner than later. Every day I am
being reminded that I am a "Grown Up" Most days I don't like to think about it. I still want to
be a kid I think. I want my parents to make all the hard decisions and choices. I don't want to
be the responsible on, caring for kids and a husband and a house. It's scary. I'm almost 30,
I've been married for almost 10 years, and have been a mother for almost 8 years, but I still
feel like a kid. But I'm not...I'm a "Grown Up!!" When will it sink in? When will I feel like this
is real?
So when I finally got to my youth leader and his sister all I could do was cry. I don't know why. I guess I realized that in fact I am growing up. I realized how terribly I miss them. I don't think in high school I really knew how much of an impact he had on my life. I thought, how sad that it takes a funeral to connect with old friends. But God knew that this was how we were going to connect. So now it's a matter of staying connected!